AHHH!!! I WANT A GIRLFRIEND!!!

(so, in the slightest chance that anyone intellegent reads this blog, this is my apology to you. this may or may not have anything to do with the awesome grace of God, the depravity of man, and/or the state of the church. it may simply be the rantings of a companionship-deprived guy who wants someone to treasure in a "i'm not sure if i wanna date/hang out/commit/make things wierd between us" world.)

my friend has a theory: christian ministries lack the power of God because we refuse to date. now, i preface this by saying my friend is not really a part of a christian ministry, nor is he the typical guy who should be giving advice to christian ministries (sorry, bro), however, he may have a point. we are adults in the prime of our lives, longing for relationships with others, longing for people to hold, for love to be professed, for memories to be made and lessons to be learned. why do we stifle this in the context of christian ministry? it's as if we wish to run away from the very thing that scripturally becomes a picture of the love Christ has for us. interesting...

at any rate (showing my selfishness), this post is not about him. it's about me. here's where i am in the scope of things. for the first time in a long time, i'm "on the market", ready for a relationship, getting to know people, etc. hear that, world? STEVE'S AVAILABLE! okay...that wasn't supposed to come out like that...

let's try this again...

at any rate, this post isn't about me. it's about Him. why is a post about how steve wants a girlfriend about Christ? because it's about freedom. about grace. for the first time in a long time, i'm free. i'm not worried about my seeking this relationship or desiring that friendship impacting some cosmic balance that will throw off God's plan for me. God loves me. i love Him. i'm seeking him daily. i'm speaking with him often, and trying to listen. if i'm going off track, i'll know it. i'm not worried. my definition comes from Him. my identity is not found in who i have or do not have.

and that's awesome. perhaps in a way my friend was right. not in the specifics, but the idea. revival just might be freedom from fear - the fear that our God does not love us, the fear that we can mess up His plans, the fear that we are lacking something if our lives are not always spent in wretched mourning of our sins. because God loves us. He always will. that's grace.